Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
