I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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