turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
