hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
