And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
