I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
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