His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I just googled if crying burns calories
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
