white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
