I got chris browned last night
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize