so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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