You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
