you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
