LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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