You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
You ruined the universe
Randomize
