2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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