please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
