You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Never joke about your clitoris.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
