dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
