There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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