New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
