Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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