Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
