He felt like a one man threesome
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
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So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
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logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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