does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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