I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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