Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize