If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
