Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I need a burrito and a hug.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
