I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
