You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
