i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
