Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
