Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I just blew my weed a kiss
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Randomize
