Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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