After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
operation have a gay friend backfired
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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