My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
