The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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