And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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