just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
