Whod you bang
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize