Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
