my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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