So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
