His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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