yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
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Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
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I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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