Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
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