He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
He passed out mid-signature
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
