I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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