i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I just want nice things and good sex
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
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