just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
