No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
