Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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