was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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