Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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