lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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