Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
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