Its about making memories worth repressing
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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