she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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