There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
