Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
