Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
