So drunk its hurt
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize