Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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