Grow some girl-balls and come out already
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
