I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize