I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
